Falling out of love is different from heart break

Have you ever been in a situation when you love someone so much that you think you're going to end up with them?
You see most times its not as easy as you think it doesn't always end up the way you want it to,life is not a bed of roses,most time it could be a bed of dead flowers.

You could be in love with a guy now and the next moment it suddenly disappears.

I once had a huge crush on this guy name not important though.
I was scrolling through my phone one day and I saw his number,I was always scared of texting him because I had a boyfriend but at that period of time,I really felt like talking to him, should I say hey or just continue scrolling, those were the only thoughts going through my mind.

I finally decided instead of texting first why not send a broadcast message (life of a girl🤦🏾‍♀️) anyways I did and he read it. I was hoping he would just reply, I waited for a while starring aimlessly at my phone and yes he replied by asking who it was meaning he didn’t have my number, but I still had his, stupid me😒.

Anyways I introduced myself to him and he was really excited i texted and from that day onward we started talking, maybe you don’t know but females love attention and I was really getting mad attention from him,sometimes we spend a whole day talking on phone. I forgot the whole world around me and it was just him, soon enough my boyfriend and I broke up I didn’t even mind because my crush was always there. He was kind, understanding and honest. I was slowly falling for him
I never knew the perfect guy existed until I met him the only problem we had was that he wasn’t asking me out, I really wanted to know why at that moment because it felt like we were madly in love with each other, so I swallowed my pride and asked why, he said we needed to see first, we haven’t seen in a while, anyways I didn’t mind, my love for him grew to more than a 100%.

So I traveled and we planned on seeing when I got back, I was away for one month, i just couldn’t wait to get back, I felt like he was the one i would end up marrying, we spoke on phone 24 hours in a day, ,168 hours in a week and 672 hours through out that one month either by texting or calling, you know love is really sweet when it happens. I forgot I even had other contacts on my phone, if it wasn’t my mum or my best friend, I would simply ignore, just because I was too attached to him.
The month finally ended and I went back home, the next day I was so excited, I rushed to see him.

I should have just waited 🤦🏾‍♀️But I didn’t, when I saw him, I was so happy and shy at the same time we talked about random stuffs, kissed, made out and when we wanted to make love I found out he had an erectile dysfunction, I was so shocked, i didn’t expect it, he spent hours trying and trying but it didn’t work, for a while we just stayed quiet and he said the word I always wished for but I wasn’t so sure about my answer again, he said would you be my girlfriend 🤦🏾‍♀️ I just had to say yes.
I went home that day sad I wasn’t really excited about the whole stuff again.
My love for him had reduced from a hundred to 25. I know it sounds like I’m crazy but I was slowly falling out of love. We dated for a few months and each day it decreased by 1% until I felt absolutely nothing.
I was just in the relationship because I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know how to go out. He noticed the changes and kept on asking what was wrong, but I kept on shifting blames to him.

One day I could not take it anymore, I just had to break up, he cried and begged but I refused to come back, I couldn’t pretend anymore, I know wherever he is right now he would feel like I broke his heart, but no I didn’t, I saved his heart instead from the unknowingly unhappy relationship he was in.
When you fall out of love and you break up, you’ve not actually broken someone’s heart but you’ve saved the person from you.
I'm dropping a song for the mood.

Dear diary that's all for now
Xoxo shuga❤️

Dropping a song because i feel sad after this post
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Thanks for reading



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